birthday present fiasco (click for details)

I'm faced with getting a birthday present for a 2-year old. Obviously getting her some toy that three other people are going to buy for her isn't an option. Something useful, something to teach her a life lesson seemed called-for.

I procured, constructed, wrapped, and delivered my present to the party along with the following paragraph to be read at its unwrapping:

"
While I was considering what to buy for a girl who has everything, a quote from Winston Churchill occurred to me about someone he doesn't like very much: "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." So as you open your present little girl, please remember that one man's vice is another man's virtue. (and one of the adults present please take her gift away from her as soon as she opens it so nothing unexpected happens)
"

Unfortunately I had to leave early. Later, I learned that the paragraph had been read, and the gift had been opened. Nobody thought it was funny, and everyone thought it was stupid.

Welcome to the Midwest.